The Intruders are Entering the Building, Master!
by Lone Gunfreak
Summary: Ron and Harry visit a very differant castle. mwahahahahaha! Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!


Title : The Intruders are Entering the Building, Master!  
Author : Lone Gunfreak  
E-mail : lord_manhammer_666@yahoo.com  
Category : Humor, crossover  
Disclaimer : J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter characters, and   
Richard O'Brien owns the Rocky Horror characters.  
Summary : Harry, and Ron visit a very differant castle.  
Author's Note : 1 - This takes place before The Rocky Horror Picture   
Show. Eddie is frozen, and Rocky is yet to be  
created.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Note : I stole this from J.K. Rowlings' house. It's the alternate   
version of " Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets". Initially it   
was supposed to be called " Harry Potter and the Sick Freaks from   
Transsexual, Transylvania ", then she decided it wouldn't sell well,   
so she rewrote it. This is the original version. It starts right after   
Ron and Harry decide to fly the car to Hogwarts.  
  
" Check if you can see the train still, Ron, " Harry said.  
" Um, yeah, I can see it right there. "  
A few hours passed. Harry felt nervous. He was sure they'd be at the   
castle by now. He looked out the window and saw ocean.  
" Ron! We're over ocean! I thought you said the Hogwarts Express was   
right under us! "  
" It is. See that thing right under us? "  
" Um...Ron? That's a plane. "  
" Oh, crap! "  
" What are we gonna do know? "  
" Follow the plane? "  
Harry slapped Ron. " Are you English or retarded? "  
" Um, actually, I'm English. So're you. "  
" Shut up! I'm trying to think. "  
  
15 minutes later  
  
" So, did you think of something? "  
" so far, I thought of 3 things - 1) You're an idiot, 2) we're dead   
3) we're over land now and 4) your car needs a toilet. "  
" Why don't we land there? That castle might have a toilet. "  
" Ok. "  
Ron steered the car into the front lawn of the castle. After Harry and   
Ron dragged themselves out of the flaming wreckage, they started walking   
over to the castle.  
" Oh, come on, Harry. This castle's creepy. Do we really have to go in? "  
Harry was getting very annoyed with Ron. " No, Ron, we don't, " he said  
sarcastically. " I'll just open your empty skull and use that for a   
toilet, ok, Ron? Which would you prefer - to go in the castle or for me to   
piss in your head? "  
Ron considered his options, sighed, and agreed to go in the castle. They  
knocked on the door. A hunchbacked man with long blond hair answered.  
( Say hello, Riff! ) " Hello. "  
" Hi! I'm Ron Weasley and this is my friend Harry Potter. Can we use your   
bathroom? "  
The hunchback stared at them, then nodded. " This way. "  
Ron and harry followed the hunchback. Suddenly, an egg fell in front of   
the hunchback. He glared up at the stairs.  
" You're very bored, aren't you? " he said. Ron and Harry couldn't see  
anyone, but then a woman in a maid's outfit slid down the stairs.  
" Yes, I am. Frank's in the lab working on his creation, and Columbia's  
off being a moron somewhere. And I have nothing to do. "  
" Why the eggs? "  
The woman shrugged, then caught sight of Ron and Harry.  
" Earthlings? " she asked the hunchback.  
" Yes, Magenta. "  
Harry butted in. " Uh, you were showing me to the bathroom? "  
The hunchback and the maid exchanged looks.  
" Er...yes. This way. " He led Ron and Harry to an elevator. All 3  
got in, and when the elevator stopped, they were led into a pink room.  
" Um, is this your bathroom? " Harry asked.  
" Er...no. Wait a moment, " the hunchback said. He walked over to a   
tank on the far side of the room.  
  
" Master? " Riff said. " Master? "  
Frank looked up from the creature he was working on. " What, Riff-  
Raff? "  
" A couple of Earthlings are here. Do you wish to use them for parts   
for your creature? "  
Frank thought for a moment. " Hmmmm. Let me see them. "  
Riff and Frank walked over to Ron and Harry.  
" Harry! Is that a man or a woman? " Ron whispered.  
" Shut up! You're very annoying, Ron, " Harry hissed back. But he  
was curious too. He never saw a man dressed like that since the  
last time Uncle Vernon got drunk.  
Frank frowned. Neither of them were muscular enough. But...they  
where kinda cute. * I could have fun with these 2 * he thought,  
and smiled.  
" Ok, I think I've asked this about a million times but WHERE IS   
YOUR BATHROOM?! " Harry yelled annoyedly.  
" Right down - " Riff began, when a figure on a broom crashed through  
the ceiling.  
* Doesn't any one use the door around here? * Frank thought irritatedly.  
Hermione jumped off the broom. " Harry! Ron! You've got to get out of   
here! I was sent by Dumbledore to get you. These people are bad, they   
want to have sex with you! "  
" Ew! Icky, icky! " Ron squealed. Harry rolled his eyes.  
" Jump on the broom! " Ron and Harry did as Hermione said, and flew off.  
They reached Hogwarts in .5 seconds.   
  
Frank glared at Riff. " Idiot. Next time, bring Earthlings in that DON'T   
destroy my lab! " Frank stalked off before Riff could explain that he   
had no way of knowing an Earthling would crash through the roof.  
" C'mon, Riffy. Let's start preparing for the convention tomorrow, "  
Magenta suggested. Riff smiled, grabbed her close and kissed her neck  
hard.  
" Mmmm. I love you, my beautiful brother. "  
" Tomorrow. We'll get rid of Frank tomorrow. "  
  
and from here, J.K. Rowling's notes seem to stop telling the story and   
begin to mention threats of a lawsuit from 20th Century Fox if she keeps  
infringing on their copyrights.   
  
The End ( unless I can steal more things from J.K. Rowling. You never know..) 


End file.
